


Culmination

by TheShippingLord



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Multi, Polygamy, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-02 15:14:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14547519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheShippingLord/pseuds/TheShippingLord
Summary: He couldn't exactly recall how it really started. Nor could he tell you what brought him over the edge. But the feeling, that all too breif experience, like a drug Michael was instantly hooked.In which the bois begin to take notice to Michael's inner turmoil





	1. Silent Plea

_He couldn't exactly recall how it really started. Nor could he tell you what brought him over the edge. But the feeling, that all too breif experience, like a drug Michael was instantly hooked._

_Much to his dismay._

* * *

"Gavin! You fucking moron!" Mr. Rage Quit himself shrieked. Glaring daggers into the flustered brit, who had scrambled to duck behind Jeremy in a vain attempt at using the man as a human shield. Though it didn't seem Jeremy would offer any protection as giggles wracked his body. Pulling away from the video he'd been editing to observe the turmoil between the two besties.

"T'was an accident, I swear on it!" Gavin gave a womanish squeal upon the realization that Michael had stood and was now stalking toward his hiding spot.

This particular day Michael had been teetering farther on the edge of irritable than the guys had seen him for some time. Hell, Ryan had caught him throwing an absolute fit over his missing beer, only to realize he'd been  holding the bev throughout his entire rant. It was concerning really, though none of the Achievement Hunters dared to disturb the redhead while he was trying to push through the work day. Well.. all except an oblivious Gavin of course;

_The British lad had been whining for attention from his boi practically all day long, which was infuriating enough on its own, but Michael really lost it when gavin, in his inevitable boredom between recordings, had dropped his head on his desk with a 'thawp'. Causing a pen that had been resting on the spot to flip up and nail Michael in the forehead._

Hints the promise of death in his eyes as he stalked toward a cowering Gavin now.

"You mother-" before he could finish his threat however, Michael found himself being yanked back by strong arms. Letting out an undignified squeak as he was twirled, face smushed into his attacker's chest.

Of course Michael's shock didn't last for long. And the moment he'd gathered his thoughts the angry lad began to thrash and surge against the foreign body that held him prone against their chest. "Hey. Chill Jones." Michael growled eyes narrowing into a deep glare as he finally lifted his head to stare up at his human shackles.

Whether he should have been surprised or not Michael didn't exactly care about anything but escaping the mad king's iron grip. A slew of curses leaving the redhead's mouth, Michael shoved and twisted awkwardly. "Ryan! I swear to fucking god! If you dont fucking let me the fuck go right fucking _NO_ W I'm going to murder you in your god damn sleep!!" The lad spat. Earning himself an amused smirk from the blond. Only serving to enrage the lad further.

"Michael, boi, what's gotten into you today?" Gavin braved the question upon the realization that he wasn't going to be flayed as long as Ryan gripped the enraged redhead. The inquiry proved effective as the other achievement Hunter's began to pipe up and finally acknowledge the clear elephant in the office.

 _He_ _felt sick._

Jack was the first to second Gav, "I've gotta agree Michael. We haven't seen you this agitated in a long while."

_His skin was crawling._

"Seriously, are you feeling alright man?" Jeremy was quick to add.

_His lungs shriveled, aching with each sharp inhale._

It wasn't long before Michael was bombarded with pointed questions by his boyfriends that made the pit in his stomach swell. At this rate he really was going to throw up.

Without thinking Michael was sinking his teeth into Ryan's forearm. Not enough to break skin, but certainly enough to jar the gent into loosening his death grip on the redhead. And with a dagger sharp curse Ryan stumbled. Leaving Michael just enough leeway to shove away from the taller and take off for the door.

The door fell shut with a blunt 'wumpth', leaving the already concerned hunters to stare on in shock.

* * *

_Stop_

_Stop_

_Sto_ p

Michael grit his teeth, so hard he could have sworn he heard his jaw pop.

Luckily he'd been able to lock himself into the closest bathroom he could reach, palms pressed flush to the countertop. Michael hated the agonizing trembles that reverberated though his body as he pulled away from the sinks to stare up into the mirror, his heart dropping to his ankles;

Before him stood not himself, but a hollow shell. A crude copy, that to anyone else seemed just as pristine as the original, but to Michael.. The subtle changes glared him in the face, practically screaming their obviousness for all to hear.

The rush of blood in his ears was deafening, dwarfed only by the 'lub-dub-lub-dub-lub-dub' of his racing heart.

_Disgusting._

Michael could see the sharp line of patchy concealer that fought so desperately to mask the bags that hung under his eyes.

Could see just how thin he'd become, what with his lack of appetite, and how the color in his face had muted. Almost to a stark white in comparison to before.

He felt sick just looking at the _thin_ g that bored into him with those pathetically tired eyes.

Absolutely disgusting...

* * *

"D'yah think he's still miffed..?" Gavin whined, he hadn't been able to focus on any real work ever since Michael left, the hopeful look in his eyes dashed upon meeting the dejected eyes of his lovers. "I thought so.." was all the brit could manage. The guilt that loomed over him making itself painfully clear to the others.

After an uncomfortably long bout of silence the hunters were met with the clatter of headphones against a desk and squeak of a chair as Geoff stood, fire in those eyes. "You know what, fuck this." He let out, irritation lacing every word. "I love Michael, and I know you all love him too, but right now he's acting like a selfish brat! If he's so fucking upset he could just come out with it and let us help, but instead he chooses to sulk and the moment anyone gets in his way he goes off on them! Well I'm sick of it." With that, the gent stormed for the door. "I'm going to find him." He pulled the door shut on his way out, letting it slam behind him.

Today was going to be a long day.


	2. Euphoria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING  
> This chapter contains graphic depictions of self inflicted injuries and depression.

The day drawled on for what seemed like years. Every agonizing hour another century to plague him. Michael just wanted to disappear at this point. He could practically feel the stares of his lovers digging into the back of his head.

Just one more hour

One more and he could finally escape. Their eyes. 

Michael could only imagine what they thought of him right now. 

_"you're acting like a selfish brat!"_

Geoff's words rang though his head on repeat. Dragging him further and further from what little light he could grasp at. 

He deserved this..

All of it.

Every harrowing intake of breath.

Every sleepless night.

Every skipped meal.

He deserved to feel like this. Like he wasn't worth the effort. Like the world would be better off with him buried six feet under.

How  _selfish_ of him for ever believing he could amount to more than the husk of nothing he'd devolved to. 

How  _selfish_ he was for forcing his love on the others in a vane attempt to fill the hellish pit that festered in his chest. 

He might as well-

Michael jumped. Nearly scared out of his skin by the hand that came down on his shoulder. 

* * *

 

"Shi-!" Jeremy jumped back. Startled by the sudden yelp the redhead released. He'd been calling Michael for at least fifteen minutes now, had he not noticed the time?

Nevertheless he raised his hands up in surrender, allowing Michael a moment to regain his composure. "Hey buddy, it's time to go." He offered in as soothing of a tone as he could muster.

The dazed look in his lover's eyes brought a pang to his heart. Michael had been so disengaged from everybody for weeks now and he was really beginning to worry for the usually fiery redhead. Longing for that flare to return. For Michael to finally come out to them with what was bothering him. 

"Oh.." Michael murmured. Pulling back from his desk with an audible groan. The Lad's movements were slow and lethargic. As if it took an obscene amount of effort to simply stand on his own. 

That's it.

Jeremy had decided. By this time tomorrow he'd get Michael to open up to them. 

They'd finally be able to help with whatever haunted their poor boi.

He hoped so anyway..

* * *

 Michael had failed to show up for bevs with the bois. Claiming he'd been caught up with work when his lover's had first approached him. 

It seemed to dissuade him, and Michael practically groaned in relief the moment the last gent let the door to their office fall shut behind him. 

He made sure to wait just a beat longer. Holding his breath as he listened for the turning of a knob or footsteps to close in on him. 

Once he was sure he was entirely along, Michael pushed away from his desk, tossing his headphones to the seat as he stood. 

His muscles acted upon memory, the routine was always the same. They knew the pattern well. Once the brain finally let them take the lead there was no stopping them. 

Michael found himself standing between his conscience and the wall of shelves containing the many items fans had sent to them over the years. For a moment he allowed his mind to reason with the arms that stretched toward a silver blade. Simple enough for its intended use. But in the end the body won.

As it always did. 

And in Michael's hands there sat a small dagger, about the length of his hand from palm to fingertip. Thin and lightweight, part of his brain cried for mercy. 

_The others will see_

_You haven't even allowed the others to heal_

_What if it's too deep this time_

Though Michael found himself plopping down onto the small white couch they kept in the office. Tugging at his belt and finally shoving his pants to his knees. 

Grimacing at the sight. 

Thin, white scars littered his pale thighs, almost blending with the redhead's pale complexion. Overlapping and clustered close together as the expanse of flesh began to yield less and less clean space for Michael's.. antics. 

Along with the long since healed wounds sat raised angry red gashes, throbbing with heat, threaten infection if Michael didn't clean them soon. Small scrapes, more or less healed or well on their way.

As well as a single. Still blooded scrape, delt with something blunter than the cleaner cuts that filled the expanse of his thighs and hips, he'd gained that one this morning. Thankful at the time for the small shard of glass he kept concealed in his pocket for _"emergencies"._

Michael admired his work, running his fingertips over the inflamed wounds first before moving to feel over the tough scar tissue that had formed over the years.

Finally, 

 

  _Finally,_

He gripped the dagger he had set beside him. Designating a mostly empty space of flesh, pressing the cool blade to the heated thigh. Shuddering in anticipation he took in a sharp breath before digging in. Thick beads of red accumulating around the soiled knife's edge. Michael carved a deep, satisfying, line into the meat of his thigh. Hands trembling he pulled back. Examining the laceration, Michael swallowed thickly, rich crimson droplets spilling out of the fresh wound.

It was only for a moment,  but that moment was absolute _nirvana._

A blissful moment of relief. A euphoric high that he could never get enough of.

And finally nothing.

Just the dull, stinging pain that sung through his nerves. Bringing a hiss from the redhead. 

He wanted-

No.

He  _needed_ More!


	3. Dragging Time

By ten at night the guys had settled before the television to relax after a long day at the office. Jack cradling an exhausted gavin against his warm chest, whilst Geoff and Ryan pressed on either side of a tired Jeremy, fighting sleep in favor of the company his boyfriends kept. 

By eleven at night Jack had carried Gavin to bed where he could sleep peacefully, planting a kiss against his forehead, the gentle bear was dragged alongside and needy Gavin with a hearty chuckle.

By twelve at night the last of the men stumbled into their shared bedroom. Crawling into bed they shifted lazily until they were satisfied with each of their positions. Ryan hugged around Jeremy's waist pulling the smaller to his chest, with Geoff's hand resting firmly over the curve of Jeremy's hip. Rubbing relaxing circles with his thumb to coax Jeremy to sleep. Just behind Geoff Gavin had splayed out over the sheets. Arm falling to slap over Jacks face. The brit had always been a restless sleeper. Especially when they were missing one of their lovers, and with Michael's absence Gavin couldn't even be reigned in by Jack's gentle words of encouragement and feather light touches along the brits waist and hip. 

Jack snuck away from his sleeping boys at one in the morning. He couldn't sleep. Not with how Michael had been acting lately. He crept into the living room switching on their tv the bearded redhead gave a long, exhausted sigh. Rubbing at his droopy eyes.

He couldn't get that image of Michael from his mind. Stumbling in on the redhead early in the morning to see their usually energetic and sarcastic ball of anger looking so.. drained. The darknet beneath his eyes was obvious and it tugged at his heartstrings. They knew Michael had insomnia and they would occasionally find the lad still up and chatting with other early beards whilst he busied himself with a game. But they thought he was getting better. Michael _said_ he was getting better. 

Jack groaned. Resting his elbows on his knees he cupped his face in his hands. Michael had to be home soon. He'd sit the fiery ball of rage down and treat him to a meal. Just the two of them, away from the prying eyes and ears of their many lovers. They'd talk then. Jack was going to get to the bottom of this.

He hoped anyway...

It was two now.

Still no sign of Michael.

He hadn't even texted. He _always_ texted when he wasn't going to make it home.

Jack was pacing the living room floor. Dragging his fingers though his beard he rushed to check his phone every minute or so. Where the hell was he!? 

Maybe he just got caught up with work and forgot to text?

Or, he passed out at the office. He's done that before!

Oh god.. oh fuck! What if he's hurt!

Jack was beginning to panic now. What if their precious Michael had picked a fight with the wrong crowd? He had been a bit on edge lately.. or what if he was mugged and left in some dank alley to die!?

The anxiety bubbling in his belly was beginning to overwhelm him, breath coming in short gasps. Michael could be hurt somewhere and they'd never even know.. 

It took all Jack had not to scream as a warm hand came to rest on his shoulder. Whipping around he was met with a quizzical look from a tired Ryan. 

"Jesus you scared the shit out of me Haywood." Jack hissed through grit teeth, heart thumping so loud in his ears he was beginning to fret it'd wake the others

"I noticed." Ryan's voice brought him back, eyes flitting to meet with the cool blue of his lover's. "You okay Jack? You kinda look like shit." The blond offered a tired smile, reaching to run his hand over the bear's forearm giving a reassuring squeeze. 

Jack released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Shuffling forward, he pressed his forehead to Ryan's, gently cupping each of the gent's scruffy cheeks. When he'd begun shaking Jack wasn't exactly sure, but pressed up against his steady Ryan the shivers were painfully obvious. "I'm.. I think Michael is in danger Ryan.." he began slowly, thankful for the gent's innate calming presence. "I don't know how to explain it, I guess its how a mom feels when her kid is doing something dangerous. You just.. you know. A-And I just.. what if he's hurt? Ryan.. I don't.. He's not home and I-"

"Hey!" Ryan cut Jack off, concern blooming in the pit of his stomach. He closed the distance between them. Sealing his lips over the panicking redhead's. "Hey.." Ryan hummed. Holding Jack by the waist in an attempt to steady the gent. "How about we go down to the office and see for ourselves? Hm? Put your mind at ease." He managed a reassuring smile. Reaching up to cup Jack's cheek. 

"I- Yeah, I'd like that Ryan." Jack let himself lean into the gent's warm hand. Soaking in the intimate embrace.

The lot was vacant when they arrived, it was three, almost four, in the morning. Plus it was the weekend. There really was no reason to be at the office at this time of night.

Thankfully, Ryan was able to coax Jack in a relatively calm state. Assuring his overprotective lover that Michael was most likely crashing on the office couch as he tended to do when Work ran too late to grab a ride. Or hell, maybe he was arriving home now and worrying about  _them_.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for making it to the end fren! Please let me know if you liked this or not~


End file.
